Proof Asheville Is Weird

From time to time I have written about Asheville, the place I call home. It is honestly one of the most beautiful places I know. Not that I'm a world traveler. But I have seen my share of "pretty places" and Asheville ranks right up there. In fact, my little town has received many accolades and much media recognition for all it has to offer. That's the up side.

As with every "up", there seems to be a "down". The flip-side of all the praise we receive is that we are also known as a not-so-good place to live if you are single. Kiplinger's February 2012 article ranked us 8 out of the 10 worst cities for singles.

8 out of 10

Worst cities!
Actually, if you think about it, it is really  8 out of EVERY! FREAKIN' city in America!!!!!!

 And I'm single.

But this place is a part of me. It's in my blood. In spite of all my childhood dreams of moving to a big city and becoming famous, my heart will forever be tied to this place often referred to as the Land of The Sky. No doubt this place is unique. It is a small town with a big city "feel". It is also home to a very diverse population. People watching is a prime activity. In fact, the last few years there have been various "campaigns" aimed at keeping Asheville weird. What I saw today is proof the campaign is working.

While at the Post Office, I saw a man getting into his car. A manly man. Masculine. Looking as if he just left the gym. As I walked past his car, I caught a glimpse of his feet. He had brightly painted pink toe nails.

Chipped polish, no less.

I would have assumed they were the result of a daddy letting his little girl have her way with nail polish. You know, a willing participant in a game of dress up. Not sure why he would wear it long enough for it to look so worn, but whatever.

However, my assumption lost all merit when I realized he was also wearing pink and purple plaid sandals.

Perfectly fitting, bright pink and purple sandals.

Not man-dals.

Sandals.

You know...you just gotta love this place!

In Search Of The Complaint Department

To Whom It May Concern,

I am writing to express my concern toward various undisclosed issues with your "product". Upon receiving the "merchandise" roughly two years ago, I diligently read all warning labels, perused and often referred to the "how to" guide, as well as sought counsel from other "users". Having worked my way through various stages of development, I am now at the point where I should be experiencing the benefits associated with having surpassed your grueling guidelines. Although I would be remiss to state I have received no benefit, as I certainly have, I must bring your attention to the fact your company is liable for lack of full disclosure.

(source)

Recently  I have encountered many complications. While no harm has come to my physical being as a result of these issues, I am suffering from mental and emotional distress. With no warning as to the severity of this condition, I am requesting some form of compensation for the added pain and suffering. Should we be unable to come to an agreement as to what form of compensation I should receive, I will respectfully request a full refund.

Actually, after much consideration, I would like to bypass the complaint department and speak directly with the General Manager. I will share my concerns with the "higher up" before asking for my refund. It is my belief the only way to resolve the issue is to be directed to the "Cancer Return Department" as I am no longer interested in owning your "product".

Thank you in advance for your time and attention.

Sincerely,

Lisa Howard
aka...The Girl Who Is Simply Over It!

P.S. It has come to my attention this letter of complaint is misleading. Please understand the cancer is still dormant. No active cancer cells to be found. I am merely working my way through the ups and downs of changes brought on by this nasty beast...all the while trying to use a little humor to get me through. A follow up post will come soon explaining the prompting of this post. To all those who voiced their concerns for my well being, please know I love you and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Fire In The Sky

Every sunrise ushers in a new day.

A day of abundant hopes, dreams and possibilities.

And every day's end brings a sunset...

A setting sun as unique as the day it is married to.

Some sunsets spread out in painted rays of orange and red...bold colors of vibrancy and warmth.

Others softly meld into the mountains. Quietly fading. Leaving no particular mark to signify days end other than the inky darkness brought by night.

Still others leave a skyline made jagged by the lofty landscape as it is enveloped by a sea of deep, dark blue... giving way to purple... easing into a vastness of pink. Creating a feeling of peace and serenity.

All are beautiful. All are unique.

However, every once and again, a setting sun will catch me by surprise.

Literally take my breath away.

Giving birth to a sunset so magnificent I can't help but stop and stare.

Photo taken with my phone. Oh how I wish I had had my camera.

It is this kind of sunset that fills the sky with fiery flames as the sun crashes into the horizon. Making a statement. Refusing to go quietly into the night.

As I watch with utter awe, I feel a stirring in my soul.

Just as the sun explodes in glorious color at day's end, I recount my moments and wonder.

Can I create a life that splendid?

In my own way, I want to live like the sun.

With a fiery spirit.

With a desire to make a difference.

To make a statement...

To spread warmth...

To leave a mark.

I want to create my own fire in the sky.

Tell me. Does the beauty of a setting sun speak to your spirit?

Ummm...Yeah...Like, What's Up?

Welcome to my new, old home place. I did a little remodeling around here. I've been having way too many issues getting my new WordPress site up and running. Actually, there are only a few issues. The problem is, I haven't taken the time to research a solution. My time spent Googling (did "Google" just become a verb???) for a resolution has left me scratching my head and throwing my hands up in the air. Rather than waste any more time running in circles, I decided to purge the prattle in my head here at my old residence and I eased the itch for something new with a quick design redo.

Truth be told, Friday afternoons are THE worst for me at work. By 3:00 pm, my head has already left for the weekend. I usually leave mundane chores like sorting and filing for the final 2 hours of my work week.

This week?

I decided playing around on Blogger would be way more fun.

Hope you all like the new look. Couldn't help but include a sunrise in my header. Nothing better to symbolize the awesome potential a new day brings...

Wishing you a most wonderful weekend!!!

Be back soon! - Lisa

She's A Star

Last summer Keri found herself knee deep in Math courses at UGA. Super high level Math courses.

Math courses that would give me nightmares.

And I'm pretty good at numbers.

But that is beside the point. The summer session was overwhelming to the point of becoming life consuming. Keri is an excellent, focused student so she weathered it well but it still left a mark. One she will always carry with her.

During the first days of classes, one professor issued instructions for a project. He emphasized his high expectations, even apologizing to those who had to present their projects first as they wouldn't have the benefit of extra time to prepare. Wouldn't you know, Keri not only had to present her's on the first day of presentations, she was chosen as the first presenter.

The pressure was on.

With only a few days to prepare, she put her creative thinking cap on and came up with this video. She wanted to find a way to share her knowledge of a famous Greek philosopher, Pythagoras. The end result was this amazing video. It made me laugh yet made me proud. I've wanted to share since last year. As a way of celebrating her graduation, I thought it high time I let you in on my girl's off-the-wall approach to learning.







Here is the link should the embedded video not work.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZHYE8lOIe4)

If ever there was a question as to whether or not we are related, this video proves the mother/daughter connection. We both like to be unique. We both take chances....even if it means we don't always seem "normal".

By the way, her video was a memorable mega-hit! Not only did she receive a perfect score and high praise, her professor used it at a conference as an example of creative teaching methods. Pretty cool...don't ya think?

I Fry... Then I Freeze

What's up with the temperatures lately?

And I don't mean temperatures relating to weather or the thermostat.

I'm talking about my internal temperature.

Holy Hotness...then Coldness... Batman!

I knew my cancer post treatment drug would cause side effects. I was forewarned of a few. One side effect doctors consistently mentioned was hot flashes. Of course I had thought I was several years away from this dreaded female milestone. But when weighing menopause against cancer recurrence, the scales tipped heavily in favor of  a swan dive into hormone hell. To be perfectly honest, my self-confidence was riding high on how well I had weathered the previous year. Cancer treatment was a witch with a capital "B" yet I got through it. There was no way the maintenance phase could be any worse. Each and every time hot flashes were mentioned to me, I thought "No big deal. What's a hot flash or two?"

Any menopausal women out there laughing your ass off right about now? I know! I know! How stupid was I? They are pure torture! And what's up with the "moment" after? I'm not sure all hot flashes end this way but I rapidly descend from an internal temperature of 178 degrees to one more closely associated to arctic weather.

I sweat.

Then my teeth chatter.

It's funny.

Then again, it's not.

Most menopausal women can attest to the fact there is nothing like a hot flash. It begins at the very core of your being as an intense spark that ignites an aggressive inferno. One that shoots flames throughout your body. No part of your physical landscape is spared. The time it takes to internally engulf a human in flames is all of a fraction of a second. It comes without warning. And it is gnarly!

Other than literally being set on fire, a hot flash must be the closest experience one can have to truly knowing what it means to "burn in hell". After a few of these experiences, you can bet I am now working extra hard to avoid any and all activities that would sentence me to an eternity lived "down below".

Fortunately, my moments of frying-from-the-inside-out have been reasonably tolerable. I don't have them often and they tend to subside rather quickly. Most often I find myself bundled up and shivering before I have time to deal with the burn. Still, I cannot express how unpleasant these high heat moments can be.

You want no one near you... nothing touching you.

Clothes are burdensome. Even tiny little things like a purse strap or sunglasses are a source of agony.

You need your skin to "breathe". You need to escape. You frantically try to run from the flames.

It is seriously so bad I've come close to disrobing...

in public!

Isn't that a scary thought?

Getting arrested for indecent exposure is not on my list of must-do's. Heck, it doesn't even make my wanna-do list. I wonder if ever a woman has been arrested for such a thing only to plead insanity due to menopause? A jury of similar aged women would acquit in 3 seconds flat!

Back to my point...as if there really is one. Basically, I'm rambling. I suppose my point is to merely say I get it. Hot flashes are a total pain in the ass... as well as all other body parts!

So...

From henceforth I do solemnly swear:

Should I see a woman with that all telling look...a woman who has a mustache of sweat breaking out across her upper lip... a woman fanning herself with anything she can get her hands on while grabbing at her attire as if trying to break free...

trust I will eye her with empathy and sympathy.

I will say a little prayer she survives without combusting.

And I will walk on by with a sense of dread knowing it will be only a matter of time before I am her all over again.

Head Over Heels

I'm in love.

Lust really.

It happened this weekend.

A weak moment + a chance encounter = a moment to remember.

What (cause you know it "ain't" a who) is the object of my affection?

Feast your eyes on this.

Random image from Google

Almonds.

 Chocolate.

 Dark chocolate to be exact.

 Total bliss.

The most beautiful part?

I can indulge without guilt.

Now show me a woman who can have her chocolate guilt-free and I'll show you one happy-ass woman! 

Guess that means my ass is happy.

 Yes...oh,  yes it is...