Bikini vs Tankini...Or Should I Just Go With A Muumuu?

With swimsuit season upon us, I thought I would ask this question...what type of swimsuit do you wear? For me, the mere mention of the word "swimsuit" evokes a seasonal panic attack. One where shudders race down my spine and I begin to hyperventilate as I envision my dimpled, pasty white flesh being wrangled into submission and forced to dwell within the confines of the usually-never-enough-fabric-to-cover-all-the-ugly-parts-and-still-look-cute contraption we call a swimsuit. Never mind the added bonus of knowing no matter how I squeeze, tuck and try to suck it in, my body will still be on display for all the world to see. These are the thoughts many a nightmare is made of. Should I ever be lucky enough to create a somewhat pleasing image it is all for naught. The second I begin to move, all the mounds of flesh that were carefully confined within the tiny little strips of cloth spring forth with new life and begin to jiggle their way free creating a mini earthquake effect across my backside and down my lower half. All it takes is one shopping trip where the intended goal is to locate the perfect (bah! ha! ha!) swimsuit and I vow to move to Alaska where I can hide my pudge beneath a parka year round. Oh the tales of woe generated from this little ordeal.

This year I've been working out hard and eating right (the majority of the time) giving me a little confidence that I would have a few more options when it comes to swimsuit selections. At least that was my thought several weeks ago. Summer has resuscitated my waning social life. Warmer weather means outdoor adventures, late nights hanging out downtown, barbecues and travel. And you know food and alcohol are part of this equation...a very big part. In spite of my efforts, I find myself in the same position I'm in each and every year...one where I fight back swear words (a fight I always lose) while struggling to cover my enlarged tush with a few tiny little strings. You see, a bikini is the only real option I have. I know. I know. Where oh where is the logic in that???

Take this one-piece suit for instance:



One would think this would be a sure fire way to cover the nasty remains of my most recent nosh fests. But let's face it, many one-piece suits come across as frumpy and do nothing more than remind me of my grandmother. At least on my body. So often I see women in one-piece suits and think how amazing they look in them. Not once do I think of dear old granny when I see THEM in a one piece. But each and every time I give one a try...yeah...well, I have horrible flashbacks of Ruby Lee (my grandmother) at the local pool, sporting her granny suit complete with floral swimming cap. While I love my grandmother dearly, I don't exactly want to recreate her fashion folly.

(Sidenote: I hate to totally rag on her but my sweet, adventurous, totally out there grandmother also wore a nose plug and swimmies...the blow-up flotation devices children wear on their arms. She couldn't swim a lick but wasn't about to let that stop her from jumping off the high dive. When the swimmies didn't fully do the trick of helping her bob back to the surface after her less than attractive swan dive, she added a duck shaped float to her arsenal. Try to imagine this spry lady in all her childlike safety garb taking a complete leap of faith into the deep end of the pool only to have the duck float surface many seconds before she did, sputtering and flailing about in her attempts to keep herself afloat. We were eventually banned from the pool as the lifeguards tired of rescuing her. In hindsight, I think I now know where I get my spunk!)

I will admit today's versions of the one-piece are a far cry from what grandma wore. This one is cute and actually kind of sexy. It does in fact provide coverage without being a total snore. But it just doesn't have the desired effect on my body.

Then there is always the option of the tankini...a hybrid of a traditional one-piece and a bikini.



To most, this is the perfect solution. Gone are the confines and restrictions of a one-piece as are the excessive skin-baring fears brought on by choosing a bikini. And let me say, if I could look like this...



...all my problems would be solved.


But...

I don't look like that. And I never will. Through the years I've taken a hard cold look at my body. I've learned to embrace the good, the bad and the ugly. When it comes to any clothing choice, I work hard to find the best solution for all my positives and negatives. As for swimsuits, I lean toward this...



For the longest time, I could never figure out why a bikini actually looked better on my less-than-svelte figure. I've even solicited the opinion of several friends and they tend to agree. Then one day, I had that "aha" moment and I realized EXACTLY what it is. I'm short-waisted. Without a longer torso to create those nice, sexy lines, I look like a pudge ball in anything that covers my mid-section. I have a large top and an even larger bottom. Something needs to delineate the ending of one and the beginning of the other. Simply put...without a belly-baring bikini...I look like a walking, talking mass of boobs-on-butt!

So there you have it. My reasons for baring it all...err, almost baring it all... in the summer. Trust me, it still isn't a very pretty picture but what's a girl to do?

Hope everyone is having a wonderful summer and soaking up some rays! Catch up with you soon!

-L

Stress Me Out!

Today I will be undergoing a stress test. During my lunch hour I will befriend a treadmill while hooked up to various machines and walk/run until my heart reaches a targeted rate. All this in an effort to see if I have a healthy heart. My physician ordered this test after hearing I've been experiencing irregular heart rhythms while exercising. Could be I don't need a stress test as life is always creating enough of the dreaded reaction to life's woes. All that's needed is a monitor attached to my hip as I go about my daily do's and I'm sure a few off-the-chart heart rhythms could be recorded. There are days I look and feel just like this...





Home repairs, car issues, mounting bills, to-do lists that rival the length of the Appalachian trail...all of it keeps piling on. But at the end of the day, I take a good hard look at what must be done and realize it isn't all that bad, especially if I take it one task at a time. It could always be worse. I've come to appreciate the adage that basically says: If I were to throw my troubles into a pile with everyone else's, I would quickly retrieve my own. That isn't the exact verbage but you get the point.

Personally, I think my erratic heartbeat is caused by nothing more than excessive caffeine consumption prior to exercise as the problem seems to only arise on days I've guzzled more than my fair share. Then again, my heart also seems to race when I make eye contact with a few hot, buff, studly men at the gym. AND, it will skip a beat when one of them actually smiles at me. But it always returns to a regular rhythm....cause a smile is all I get. Can't blame a girl for dreaming, now can you? ;-)

In other news, I'm heading to Atlanta to rescue my daughter's car from airport parking. The child was fortunate enough to go to Canada to visit her boyfriend's family. As her week long visit was coming to a close, she made the decision to stay for the summer. Ahhh, to be so young and carefree! His family helped her find a job and she is getting the experience of a lifetime. The plans to retrieve her car fell through and it is now momma to the rescue. But isn't that what moms do? Ride in and save the day? Her spontaneity has had me shipping boxes of clothes across the border and now bailing out a vehicle that has been locked up for almost a month. Fees have been mounting daily. I can only imagine...and literally cringe...at the thought of how big this bill will be. Just another example of how life creates an never-ending stress test.

Before I go, I have a favor to ask. For all you blog friends who live in the Atlanta area...if you see I'm AWOL from the blog scene longer than usual, please come rescue me. I fear I may still be aimlessly wandering the rows and rows of parked cars looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack. I plan to pack a snack just in case I get lost.

TGIF everyone!!!!!

White Knight, Where Are You?

Today I dream of you. I long for you to ride in on your strong stallion...wielding your massive sword... slaying all demons and dragons that threaten to invade my world. Today I feel like a damsel in distress. Will you please come to my rescue?

You are who I dream of...








Rugged...handsome...strong...





BUT...





...the way my luck has been going lately...









YOU are the one I will most likely get...









A bad-a$$ medieval punk who does nothing more than leave hell in his wake. (Looks like someone missed his bi-annual dental visits. *shudder*)

Guess I should take up a sword and fight my own battles. What do you think? Think I can become a bad-a$$ medieval wench who rushes into combat and comes out victorious??? I'm thinking a little dragon slayin' is good for the soul.

Happy Hump Day and may all your demons forever be banished!

HugsNluv,
-L

Hello Friday!

Just a quick post to wish everyone a wonderful weekend. I will be hanging with good friends all weekend then gearing up for a 3 day visit from my mom. Can't wait to spend time with her. A little update...I'm working hard on all the changes to my blog. I have tons of ideas swirling in my head and I'm anxious to share. Hope to debut soon.

Before I go I want to share this picture I found in photobucket when lurking around recently. Doesn't it just scream "good times" and tropical places??? Ahhh, if only I was heading for warm sandy beaches........



Here's to a weekend of sunshine and smiles! Cheers!

"Mergers and Acquisitions...

...a general term used to refer to the consolidation of companies."

I suppose you are wondering how in the world mergers and acquisitions apply to a Friday blog post. Shouldn't I be celebrating the fact another work week has come and gone? Aren't Friday posts supposed to be filled with the anticipation of all things good the weekend will bring? Isn't it a time to party it up with a little Friday fun? Well, you guys know me. I have this need to be different, to stray from the expected. So...today I choose to forgo the standard Friday fare and make an announcement. I'm planning my own merger & acquisition! What does that mean? I'm planning a total blog re-do and I felt it only fair to warn you of the upcoming changes. So here goes...

When I started this blog roughly a year and a half ago, I had not a clue where I would go with it. Honestly, I never in a million years expected anyone would ever read my ramblings. And that was okay. I merely wanted to record my feelings, my trials and triumphs, as I settled into a new way of life...the life of a single empty-nester. I had no intention of creating a crafty blog. I wasn't comfortable posting my layouts. I was timid and shy with regard to sharing them. Yeah, I'm sure you all are rolling your eyes and thinking I'm full of bull with that statement. How can a girl who writes about fat feet, big boobs, marathon pee sessions and gyno exams from hell ever be timid and shy? Well, I ain't lyin'!!! I had a very hard time putting my creative side on display. But I finally put my big girl panties on, sucked it up and posted a layout. From that point on, this blog seemed to take on a life of its own and it's self-imposed chartered course seemed to be crafty in nature. That was where I was at the time. Now my life is on a different course. My days are filled with different activities and my goals are constantly being redefined. Where I once spent my spare time commuting to see my man in Atlanta and filling the gaps with all things related to scrapbooking, I am now settled into a life in my own hometown working on strengthening my mind and my body. My focus has shifted and that is what brings me back to the mergers & acquisitions.

Several months ago, I started a different blog where I wrote about single life. I've always said writing is my therapy and my "other" blog was exactly that. By writing, I sorted through the break-up of my 3 year relationship/engagement, wrote of the craziness of internet dating and even told of a whirlwind romance that didn't end so well. It was a relatively anonymous blog as I felt the material wouldn't be well received by everyone. It served a purpose at the time but that time is over. I've now made the decision to merge the two. This will be my one and only... the landing spot for everything "me". The good, the bad, the ridiculous...it will all be right here. And you can trust it will be a massive hodge-podge of everything ranging from fashion to home repairs, dating highs and lows, family fun, self-acceptance and there could even be the occasional crafty creation. My strategy of bringing the two blogs together is an attempt to merge the varying aspects of my life. I realize I have been unknowingly living a double life of sorts. I've separated the single girl from the other girl...the real girl. I've found myself wanting to write of various events in my life but unsure which blog warranted the post. It has become a little too much for even me to handle. It is time to "merge" the different sides of me in order to "acquire" a whole and complete me.

As you know, life changes. People change...and people come and go. I was married...but he left. I was a mom....then they grew up and set out to make their own way. I was engaged...now I'm not. Through it all, friends have come and friends have gone. This is life....my life. I entitled my blog Takin' Life One Day At A Time for a reason. I've come to realize, life isn't, nor will it ever be, constant. The only sane way to ride this buckin' bronco called life, is to take it as it comes. To not worry about tomorrow. Simply live for today. Each day brings its own challenges and rewards and I don't want to miss a thing by fretting over what the future will bring for it will certainly be different, maybe even the polar opposite, from anything I think it might be.

My life is fun, challenging, boring, overwhelming, exciting, normal, anything-but-normal... my life is all these things and more. My life is good and I want to write about it. I have made some amazing friends in blogland. You guys have supported me, encouraged me, laughed at/with me, cried with me, offered cyber hugs and brightened my world with each and every comment. I hope you will hang with me as I revamp my blog and continue to take life one day at a time.

Funky Feet

It's time to have a little fashion fun! I'm a shoe girl. No doubt about it. I find them completely addictive and I have quite the collection to prove it. Not exactly sure what draws me in but I can quickly be mesmerized by high fashion offerings. You know, those shoes that make you wonder how in the world anyone could ever stand in them without wobbling, much less walk in a reasonable manner. The more outrageous the better. Simply put...shoes are fun!

Several weeks ago, Keri sent me a link to sign up for daily Shop It To Me Sales Alerts. The link offers the chance to pick from various shops/designers and receive daily notices on their reduced items. Being a lover of all things fashion related, I jumped on it. Nothing like a little fashion escape to make every day a little brighter. Stores and websites like Piper Lime, Blue Fly, Urban Outfitters, Banana Republic, J Crew, and many more were on the list. Even high-end designers were an option but I thought it best to stay within the boundaries of my budget and selected those that are more reasonably priced. No need to be tempted by things I could never afford.

One of my favorite shoe gurus is Steve Madden...always hip and fun. Today, I thought I would share a few of my Steve Madden faves from a recent sale alert. Note: my absolute-favorite-think-I-might-just-have-to-buy-them pair are the last two...C-U-T-E!!!











Notice there is a commonality among the shoes...they all are rather "chunky". That would be the style I am most drawn to. Guess it comes from having "chunky" Fred Flintstone feet. The additional umph of a hefty shoe helps dwarf...ok, only slightly minimize...my ginormous feet. One lesson I learned a long time ago, dress for your body type...or in this case, for your foot type??? Let's just say, I do everything I can to downplay my abnormally ugly, pudgy appendages. Way cool shoes definitely help!

By the way, while I have a closet full of shoes (I quit counting when I crossed into triple digits) I tend to wear the same few pair over and over. When you work at an auto restoration establishment, you get more than your share of crazy stares when you wear your "fun" shoes to work. So I just go for functional. But you can bet I pull out the good-time-girl shoes when going out.

Hmmm, now that didn't sound exactly right. I'm thinking I just labeled myself something not-so-nice...

Uh-Oh! Missing My Mojo

Has anyone seen my mojo running around? One thing's for sure, it ain't hangin' with me! This weekend I had the chance to scrap with some super sweet scrappy friends. Very fitting given it was National Scrapbook Day on Saturday. The day started at 9:00 am and ended at 1:30 am. Wanna guess how many layouts I completed in those 16-1/2 hours? Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. I couldn't get my scrappy groove on to save my life!!! I would pick up paper...then put it back down. I sorted through photos...smiled...even laughed at a few...and placed them back in their envelope. I flipped through idea book after idea book looking for inspiration. I certainly found plenty but when I put scissors to paper, I just couldn't do it. Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, worked. I finally decided to let it go. Why push it when you aren't feeling it? There will be other chances and I feel sure Mr. Mojo will eventually return.

I suppose you are wondering what I DID do during all that time. I ooh'ed and ahh'ed over everyone's creations, helped pull together co-ordinating items for my scrapping friends, spent a nice little chunk of change on new items at the sweet little scrapbook store we visited and laughed until I hurt. Oh yeah, I can't forget to mention all the food I consumed and you can bet chocolate was devoured in enormous quantities! With my hands idle, I HAD to do something...popping M&M's seemed to be the best option!!!

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend celebrating National Scrapbook Day! Wishing you a week of sunshine and smiles! xoxo -L