Monday, October 11, 2010


I've been thinking. I know...thinking can sometimes prove to be an unsettling thing, especially when faced with a major life crisis. This time, my thinking has proven to be a positive. The past few days I've been sifting through blog posts from the past year or so, curious as to where I've been... what I've learned.... spending time reminiscing and doing a little self-evaluation. Amongst the stories of my crazy antics and tales of woe, I stumbled upon a gem of a post. In fact, it was so meaningful I want to revisit the topic.

Roughly a year ago, I wrote a post based on a prompt from one of my best blog pals, "h.b.". Through various prompts and challenges, "h.b." laid the ground work for us to do some soul searching in an attempt to think about who we are and where we are going. Being the deep thinking, soul searching type, I jumped in with both feet and participated in many of the challenges. My favorite prompt explored the subject of touching people's's not who you touch but how. I suppose it is more than fair to say being diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer causes one to consider their role in this world. "Have I...make a difference?" Now there is a question. Even in that soul searching, cancer free moment of a year ago, I dug really deep with this one and poured my heart out in these words:

"We all have them. Those times that forever leave a mark on our hearts...our souls...our being. Be it a good or bad time, it shapes and molds the person we become. Much of the impact it has on us is defined by how we approach that moment and the choices we make regarding it. I've had many such moments. Big, huge, earth moving moments. Marriage, children, divorced parents...a divorced me. Children moving away and then returning. The death of someone very dear. Some of these were cause for celebration and others were the cause of much pain. But through them all, I learned more about me and became stronger and hopefully wiser as a result.

But not all defining moments are as enormous in size. There are also the little things that can affect us. Little chance moments such as an encounter with another person that leave us with a life lesson all because we crossed paths. There can be inspiring moments of awe and wonder. And there can be misunderstandings or misguided intentions that leave us in a position to choose how we will move forward and whether or not we will allow it to cause harm or good to a relationship.

Lately I have been facing many defining moments. Times that are testing my character and my strength. I'm facing decisions that are almost impossible to make as there is really no good answer. Some days I feel victorious in these situations and other days leave me struggling to not feel defeat. But I am most thankful for these trying times. I know that even on the down days, I am building strength. God has given me the ability to rise above by trusting in Him. And I'm learning with each test and working harder to be a more positive influence."

How odd that I seem to be in much the same position now as I was then. It is exactly as they say...oh how things change yet they somehow stay the same. At that time I faced difficult decisions...they were my defining moments. Now, I'm in a battle for my life...probably the most defining moment anyone could face. The big question is how will this defining moment impact my world?

Every day... every moment... I get to chose how I will tackle this challenge. I have a choice in how I live... how I fight... how I love. I believe my decisions will in some way impact others. If nothing more, they will leave a mark on those who love me and are fighting along side me. I can only hope to be a positive influence. To make a difference in some tiny way. I have no idea what that difference will be or how it will happen. It could come through a chance encounter or it could be much more significant. Whatever it is, I want to be mindful of the fact that each and every decision I make could in some way impact another. When reflecting on past moments and opportunities, I recall many with feelings of happiness ...others I relive with shame and regret. Those are the ones I wish I could call for a do-over as I feel certain I wasn't the positive influence I desire to be. But I have a chance to be different. To be better. To use this challenge I face for something good. I'm hoping to take a negative and make a positive. I want to make a difference.


  1. Lisa, that is the thing I love the most about you...that you are very much a lemonade girl...when life gives you lemons, you turn around and whip it up into a refreshing tall glass of lemonade with a sprig of mint to top it off! (a girl has to embellish, right?) You and I are very much alike in that way, and while you are definitely facing a big challenge, I just know you are going to turn it around...I know that you have the positivity to do it!!

  2. I may only be one of those smaller encounters, but you have certainly impacted on me! I have enjoyed your blog all these months & appreciated all the kind words you have left on mine! Now I find myself even more inspired & heartened by what you are sharing with, yes, although we have never met IRL you have definitely impacted positively on me! I have loved revisiting this post...I remember being impressed wit it first time around, now it feels positively prophetic! Stay strong & keep that eautiful smile in place! xx

  3. I know for a fact that you have made my life better just 'knowing' you through here and your art! you amaze me my friend! i love you! :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

  4. When I stopped blogging, I stopped visiting yours but I remember that post and how it made me think about life. We all have our "do over" moments in life but without those moments we wouldn't be who we are today and wouldn't be able to grow and strive to make a difference. You've made a difference even if you don't recognize it yet. You are a positive influence to more people than you can imagine.

  5. You are an amazing woman, and I agree with everyone here -- you have made an impact! I love your positive attitude in the face of something so scary.

  6. Make Life are such a shining star in my life....Oh sweet friend...the stories we have shared, the tears we have cried, the belly laughs we have chuckled....and most of all the support that you have offered and the love that you have shown me will forever be etched in my heart!!!

    I have followed you many times I have asked the questions and and yet.....I look back also to see a pattern emerge!!! I still wonder just what is my purpose and then there you are.....sending me answers!!!

    I talked with Danielle the other evening and we were looking at places that we want to move to and you know need to find me a house right next door to you....that is where I would be the happiest!!

    I love you sweet friend...I pray for you throughout each and every day and I just want you to be OK....I want to come sit on that porch, rock in the rocking chairs and have a glass of sweet tea!!! Keep up this wonderful attitude!!!! God loves you and so do I!!!!!!

  7. You are simply a incredible woman! I can say I am a better person for having had you come into my life!! In such little time, you have taught me so much! Thank you!!

  8. Oh my.... Your words now and in the past have struck a many chord in my heart. You have forever left a mark. Love you my friend. Mountains can be moved just have FAITH!!!!! big hugs, Amy

  9. Lisa,
    I have never met you in real life, but I always enjoy your writting, you thinking, expressions. Your beauty! you are a great teacher, to me, to all of us! We shall learn!

  10. Lisa,

    Yes. Simply put, yes.

    You said, "Some days I feel victorious in these situations and other days leave me struggling to not feel defeat."

    Big challenges, small ones, oh so true.

    You say, "Every day... every moment... I get to chose how I will tackle this challenge. I have a choice in how I live... how I fight... how I love."

    I think this is such an empowered perspective!

    There is a little passage that my grandmother put into my confirmation card many years ago that resurfaced again four years ago (ironically on an extremely challenging day!) and has remained on the fridge ever since. I thought you might like it too.

    It reads:

    A New Day

    This is the beginning of a new day.
    God has given me this day to use as I will.
    I can waste it or use it for good.
    What I do today is very important because
    I am exchanging a day of my life for it.

    When tomorrow comes this day will be gone
    forever, leaving something in its place.
    I have traded for it: I want it to be gain -
    not loss; Good - not evil; Success - not
    failure, in order that I shall not forget the
    price I paid for it.

    I don't know who wrote it or what it is from. But, for the last four years, its reminded me to not sweat the small stuff and to take a deep breath and just work my way through the big stuff.

    As for you wanting to make a difference, I can say that you *have* and *are* made & making a difference. You have been a welcome addition to my online life as well as my outlook on life, in real life!!

    I love how close to your daughter you are and hope that my wee girl and I remain so close and continue to be the Mother-Daughter team that we call ourselves today (from helping get her brother through challenging days to working together to get a lizard out of the house). I love that you embrace beauty, wherever it comes from. I love that you can spin a funny tale (I still remember that story about the GPS & trying to get some ice cream!! :>). And I love where you find your smiles in life through its ups and downs.

    And I'm sure there are so many that you are impacting! :>


  11. oh I wish life had 'do-overs'... they would make it so much easier to forgive to move on and to learn... but we must learn from them... you words were lovley... and loved what you wrote... it really touched my heart!!! thank you for sharing them.... blessings to you and your family... I'm still praying for you...

  12. You are making it positive Lisa!And you already influenced me by the way you face life and your open mind and your abbility to write about your thoughts and feeling. I am so glad I "met" you online. From the beginning I've loved your outlook on life and I love the way you write about it! You are a beautiful strong woman, with a beautiful soul!
    Thinking about you!
    Big hugs!

  13. Lisa, I am so sorry to hear of this news. I haven't had internet for 2 1/2 months and just got service and started blogging again. My thoughts and prayers will be with you during this challenge you are going through. You are such an inspiration to me in so many ways and such a special person. Sending you a big hug!! ♥ Annette ♥

  14. I have no doubt Lisa that you will take this difficult situation and make a big difference. Touch many lives. Well written and thought provoking post.


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