To Whom It May Concern,
I am writing to express my concern toward various undisclosed issues with your "product". Upon receiving the "merchandise" roughly two years ago, I diligently read all warning labels, perused and often referred to the "how to" guide, as well as sought counsel from other "users". Having worked my way through various stages of development, I am now at the point where I should be experiencing the benefits associated with having surpassed your grueling guidelines. Although I would be remiss to state I have received no benefit, as I certainly have, I must bring your attention to the fact your company is liable for lack of full disclosure.
Actually, after much consideration, I would like to bypass the complaint department and speak directly with the General Manager. I will share my concerns with the "higher up" before asking for my refund. It is my belief the only way to resolve the issue is to be directed to the "Cancer Return Department" as I am no longer interested in owning your "product".
Thank you in advance for your time and attention.
aka...The Girl Who Is Simply Over It!
P.S. It has come to my attention this letter of complaint is misleading. Please understand the cancer is still dormant. No active cancer cells to be found. I am merely working my way through the ups and downs of changes brought on by this nasty beast...all the while trying to use a little humor to get me through. A follow up post will come soon explaining the prompting of this post. To all those who voiced their concerns for my well being, please know I love you and thank you from the bottom of my heart.