I Have A Tummy Ache

Ever do something you know you should never do, but you do it anyway? You know the consequences are going to be painful and ugly, but you just can't help yourself. That would be me tonight. After work I had several errands to run. I was trying to hurry home in order to eat dinner at a reasonable hour. Given that I am on a life long quest to lose weight, I am in a perpetual state of hunger. And the roaring sound emitting from my stomach was all the proof I needed that it was dinner time. Of course, one of those errands included a trip to the grocery. I only needed dog food, bananas and a box of tissue. I left $52.00 poorer and I am probably 5 pounds heavier.

After carting my purchases to the lot and unloading them in my trunk, I quickly glanced from side to side and over my shoulder in order to ensure no one was watching what I was getting ready to do. What the parking lot crowd did not realize was that as I loaded the bags in the car, I strategically placed them where my unintended purchases would be easily accessible. Fairly certain I did not have an audience, I nabbed a carton of frozen mini cheesecake bites and tucked them inside my sweater. I'm not really sure why I felt the need to sneak around with the food I paid for. It wasn't like I had stolen the goodies. They were technically and legally mine. No matter, I proceeded to quickly climb in the car and lock the doors. Yeah, like that would stop any one from seeing the carnage that was about to take place.

You know those wonderful plastic wrappers designed to protect consumers from possible food tampering? Well I had war with one of them. The more I tried to rip off that wrapper the more stubborn it became. It finally succumbed after a few rounds with my car keys. And then, my friends, I indulged. Never mind that the mini cheesecake bites looked freezer burned. I ate. And I ate. And I ate. Forgot to mention they were chocolate mini cheesecake bites...need I say more? To my credit, I exhibited some restraint and stopped after eating only half the carton. However, the chocolate left a very visible reminder of my parking lot picnic. I had it on my face, my cute new white T-shirt and under every one of my finger nails. Well, most of my fingernails. I was actually able to suck the crumbs from under a few of them.


Now you would think that would be enough. But no! Once I got home, I also ate half a container of Ben & Jerry's Americone Dream. THEN...I ate dinner...a delicious, fat-free turkey dog on a low calorie whole wheat bun. A girl's gotta save those calories wherever she can!

Four Tums and two Gas-X later and I am still miserable. Oh well, I should have listened to that sage advice that everyone is always sharing...Never, EVER go to the grocery store hungry!!!