Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I Have A Tummy Ache

Ever do something you know you should never do, but you do it anyway? You know the consequences are going to be painful and ugly, but you just can't help yourself. That would be me tonight. After work I had several errands to run. I was trying to hurry home in order to eat dinner at a reasonable hour. Given that I am on a life long quest to lose weight, I am in a perpetual state of hunger. And the roaring sound emitting from my stomach was all the proof I needed that it was dinner time. Of course, one of those errands included a trip to the grocery. I only needed dog food, bananas and a box of tissue. I left $52.00 poorer and I am probably 5 pounds heavier.

After carting my purchases to the lot and unloading them in my trunk, I quickly glanced from side to side and over my shoulder in order to ensure no one was watching what I was getting ready to do. What the parking lot crowd did not realize was that as I loaded the bags in the car, I strategically placed them where my unintended purchases would be easily accessible. Fairly certain I did not have an audience, I nabbed a carton of frozen mini cheesecake bites and tucked them inside my sweater. I'm not really sure why I felt the need to sneak around with the food I paid for. It wasn't like I had stolen the goodies. They were technically and legally mine. No matter, I proceeded to quickly climb in the car and lock the doors. Yeah, like that would stop any one from seeing the carnage that was about to take place.

You know those wonderful plastic wrappers designed to protect consumers from possible food tampering? Well I had war with one of them. The more I tried to rip off that wrapper the more stubborn it became. It finally succumbed after a few rounds with my car keys. And then, my friends, I indulged. Never mind that the mini cheesecake bites looked freezer burned. I ate. And I ate. And I ate. Forgot to mention they were chocolate mini cheesecake bites...need I say more? To my credit, I exhibited some restraint and stopped after eating only half the carton. However, the chocolate left a very visible reminder of my parking lot picnic. I had it on my face, my cute new white T-shirt and under every one of my finger nails. Well, most of my fingernails. I was actually able to suck the crumbs from under a few of them.


Now you would think that would be enough. But no! Once I got home, I also ate half a container of Ben & Jerry's Americone Dream. THEN...I ate dinner...a delicious, fat-free turkey dog on a low calorie whole wheat bun. A girl's gotta save those calories wherever she can!

Four Tums and two Gas-X later and I am still miserable. Oh well, I should have listened to that sage advice that everyone is always sharing...Never, EVER go to the grocery store hungry!!!

25 comments:

  1. Hi lisa,
    i love reading your little stories ... and i have to say those little cheesecake thingys look devine (don't have them is Aust) ... i don't think i would have stopped at half a carton either!

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  2. LOL, been there ... done that!
    xxx Peggy

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  3. OMGsh...that story is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh :)

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  4. You crack me UP!!!!!! I can see you with chocolate under your nails!!!!! So true.....never shop when you are hungry!!!! Sorry about your belly hurting, but man those cheesecake things sound good. You enabler, I'm trying to lose weight and now I have to go to the store, will I be in search of cat food or Sara Lee!!! Just love ya!!! Happy Thrusday!!!

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  5. i can just see you sitting in that parkking lot eating your stash with chocolate on your face and t-shirt. i love it. now i know i'm not the only one who can't eat without getting it all over me.
    i've never tried them but i have to go to the grocery store today to get cat food, sinus meds and Sara Lee Cheesecake Bites. Yum!

    i hope your tummy is better this morning.
    have a merry day!
    Sandra

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  6. LOL LOL LOL!!!!!!! U crack me UP!!!!!!!!!! Your stories are the BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But, I do hope U feel better soon! :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

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  7. Gotta love those crazy days of indulegence! I have been on weight watchers for months and have succombed to the stress in my life...been off the wagon so to speak for about a month...all that training I did is out the window now, starting over is hard but an evil neccessity for me...so I can totally relate to what you are going through...for me it is food of any kind and lots of it!!!

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  8. I am so guilty of this. I like to see if I can eat a whole bag of powdered sugar donuts before I get home and the kids take them.

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  9. Heheh...that is funny, because I did the same last evening, and I felt as guilt as I have murdered somebody. But the reason of my crime was a Lindt White Chocolate. So good. I truly understand you and yayyy let's have some diet coke please...
    Have a great weekend and Happy Easter!

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  10. Oh my word! You crack me up...seriously! I just love your stories...I have a similar one, although I'm much less entertaining than you are (and more discreet about my embarrassing moments! lol)...I went to the grocery store to get some cream horns for this dessert I've been craving w/ strawberries & cream horns. That is ALL I needed/wanted/intended to get.

    I walked out of there w/ 2 packs of gum, 1 red-hot sausage thingie, beef & bean burritos, Orange Cream Savers, a candy bar, and my cream savers! lol...can you tell I'm pregnant?!

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  11. Too funny and too familiar! I would of waited until I got home, then got a big bowl and emptied the entire container of Ben & Jerrys and poured the cheesecake bites over the top, after all, ice cream does need a topping!
    Have a great weekend!

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  12. Oh no! I am soo sorry, but I am laughing soo hard I about fell out of my swivel chair and that would be horrible because I am sure my boss would freak out and want to know what happended, but I digress... I am only laughing because I could totally see myself in your place as you described the scene the only difference is I have no nails to get the chocolate under! Those mini cheescake things are the devil I tell you! I sure hope you are feeling better! But I freely admit, I've been there and done that and felt shameful afterwards. Love ya girl! You soo make my day! Have a great Easter and fun painting the walls.

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  13. That is a familiar story! I try not to shop when I am hungry because otherwise it is trouble!


    Hope you are feeling better now from your UTI. :)

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  14. Bite sized cheesecake? Do we have that in Canada? I know what you mean, I've been there, my 1/2 bag eating frenzy with the malted eggs didn't sit so well later on.
    I once took a steak knife to a bottle of pop because someone tightened the lid too tight and the more I tried the more I had to have pop! So I punctured the bottle and drank out of the hole.
    So you probably worked off all the calories just opening the packaging!

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  15. that story is hilarious.... but I totally understand. Even though I'm trying well ok wanting to start trying to lose 10-15 pounds, Im starving all the time and eating everything in sight. Literally the other night B woke around 1 wide awake, so we got up for about 5 hours. In that time I had 2 slices of leftover pizza, chips and dip, skittles, oreo cookies and milk and bryers half and half ince cream. If I didnt know better I would think I was pregnant. Seriously Im starting to wonder. Surely not with all the trouble I have with that subject.

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  16. I'm laughing.....been there done that!!! Not lately though!!!

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  17. what is up gf?! omw. that is hysterical. don't tell anyone but i actually ate chips out of a bag IN THE STORE i was so friggin hungry. and last night i ate ice cream right out of the container. but i had my tonsils out so i am allowed to do that for at least a year.

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  18. p.s. did you run today? ;) me neither, lmao!

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  19. LOL! Too funny. YOu are not alone.

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  20. ROTFL!!! I always make my goodies accessable after I've done a big grocery shop!! That's the best way!

    Thanks for your sweet comments on my blog. ;)

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  21. Oh, the visual you paint is just too funny - furtively sneaking into your car, shifty eyes, the battle with the wrapping - hilarious. Hope you're feeling better now hon! A carrot stick just doesn't quite have the same effect when you grocery shop hungry does it? :-)

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  22. too funny!! LOL I hope you and your belly are feeling better soon!! btw, the icecream looks YUMMY!

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  23. BAHAHAHAHAHA...BTDT...you crack me up...

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  24. Been there done that!!! Hahaha, we all learn lessons the hard way! But they do look absolutely yummy!!!

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  25. OMG those cheesecake bites look sooo yummmyy!!!! I love how you were sneaking them...when technically they were yours! LOL!

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