Friday, December 3, 2010

In Search of My Big Girl Panties

This week has left me figuratively digging deep in drawer after drawer, flailing about in an imaginary sea of not-quite-right undershorts, as I look for my freshest pair of big girl bloomers. Round two of chemo has begun and it is definitely time to "put my big girl panties on and just deal with it".

Heading into this week I was a bit anxious. The unknown does that to me. I suppose it does it to everyone. Feeling I had "mastered" the routine of round one's weekly treatments, I was apprehensive about the changes coming with round two. I knew the drugs I would receive would be heavy hitters and my physicians, as well as "K", had done a terrific job of educating me on what to expect. But you never really know how bad it will be until you have experienced it first hand.

Today marks day 5 in this 21 day cycle. Five days of almost constant nausea. Three days spent in a comatose state. Two days of bone pain. Neuropathy from round one has the nerves in my fingers on high alert. The slightest touch can create the feeling of a not-so-pleasant electrical current running up my arm. To complicate matters, the drugs given to alleviate the side effects of chemo have side effects of their own...the worst being severe dizziness.

That's the bad news. The good news is this. The nausea is tolerable. While I've spent many precious moments cozying up to the porcelain throne, I have yet to toss my cookies. Three days of abundant sleep have cured any and all feelings of exhaustion carried over from round one's incessant insomnia. The bone pain is also tolerable. Colder temperatures aggravate the issue but pain relievers do a good job of counteracting the problem. The issue of neuropathy is what it is. Fortunately, it will eventually go away and I see marked improvement each day. The dizziness? Well, the only up side to it is pure, unadulterated comedy. Everyone, including me, is having a grand time watching as I stumble into one thing after another. What can I say? You gotta laugh when you can.

So there it is. My record of the beginning of this half of chemotherapy. It isn't a picnic and it definitely ain't no party. But I can certainly deal. My search was successful and I'm armed with my big girl underpants. By the way, I bypassed the thong and bikini versions and went straight for the granny panty variety. I figured I could use all the help I could get.

13 comments:

  1. Well Lisa I was going to go into a big long speech about when I had cancer, but then I decided against it, because right now you don't need to hear about someone else's issues! I will say, however, that even though it was a different kind that didn't require chemo, it was still tough, and I am still at risk for having it again because, unlike you, I couldn't get the preventative treatment done. But that was 3 years ago this coming February, I go to the endocrinologist on Dec. 6th and hopefully find out if there's tests they can do to see if I have cancer again or not, that don't require me swallowing any radio active iodine pills. So even though it was a different kind of cancer, I have been through it, and I'm around if you need to vent!

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  2. You amaze me......you are one strong cookie and I know just what you are going through and it is HELL!!!! I am so very proud of you and I think the Big Girl Panties are going to get you through, along with this wonderful, positive attitude!!!!

    Please take good care of yourself and know how many of us are holding you close in our hearts and keep you in constant prayer!!!

    You just continue to do what YOU need to do and most of all.......know that I LOVE YOU!!!! Your strength pushes me through!!!

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  3. I have said it many times to you, but I have to keep saying it... You are a Amazing woman! To go thru this with the attitude you have is a inspiration to me! I send prayers out for you every day!
    I loved reading this blog, especially hearing and visioning the smile and laugh that goes along with it! Thanks for making ME smile!!

    Take Care Beautiful!! Z0

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  4. 3 words..... YOU ARE AMAZING. xoxoxox

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  5. You are AMAZING Lisa!!! My prayers and thoughts are with you daily!! :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

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  6. Your attitude on this keeps amazing me Lisa, you are one strong woman. Keep strong my friend, and keep on smiling. You're forever in my heart.
    xxx Peggy

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  7. Hey Lisa- I wish something, anything I say could make you feel better and the symptoms less. But no such words exist. It suck that all these meds have so many side effects. I am just glad to hear you are keeping your positive attitude and trying to find the laughter in this. As everyone has said you are amazing, your strength and faith inspire me and I think of you all the time. Love you! xoxo-Kim

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  8. Oh Lisa! It amazes me that even you recounting such a ghastly experience raises a smile! You have such inner strength & are an inspiration to us all. You are in my thoughts & prayers daily...keep finding the laughter & seeing the positive...sending you {{Hugs}} & Love ♥

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  9. Your strength amazes me! Anyone who can laugh at their dizzy spells has to have the right mindset. :)

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  10. You are amazing and no one will look more beautiful and poised in those big girl panties than you! (((HUGS)))

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  11. Sending you love!

    from Canada, Chantal

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  12. You're positive attitude constantly amazes me Lisa. I think of you often and always look forward to your blog and reading about your strength and laughter, you make me smile.

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  13. I think about you all the time & want you to know I'm keeping you in my prayers. Your positive outlook & sense of humor is awesome!

    Big big hugs...

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