Several days ago Julie mentioned Susan Boyle on her blog. I had written this post in early April and for whatever reason, I had never posted it. Thought I might share it today.
Yep! It's that time again. Time to pull out the ol' swimsuit and wrangle myself into it. I have only one word for this...U-G-L-Y! Pasty white, excessive flesh being wrestled into submission...ugly. Losing the battle to cover abundant wads of dimpled skin with a few strips of cloth...also ugly. Leaves me wishing like heck I had passed on all that cake. And I am now on a mission to find the perfect streak-free sunless tanning product 'cause we all know tanned fat is waaayyy better than un-tanned fat! DUH! Dear, oh dear, it's that time of year!!!
Last year I was lucky enough to skip swimsuit season! Don't know how I did it, but it was quite nice. However, that mini vacation from this hellish ordeal has left me in a much worse state than before. Donning the bikini usually serves as a wake up call. A slap in the face, or a kick in the enlarged fanny, telling me to sew my mouth shut for a few weeks and shed my winter pudge. Without that little warning bell last year, I am now burdened with the task of dumping the results of 2 years of excessive eating. It's either that or I need to go in search of a flattering muu-muu! All of this has left me with a recent bout of crabbiness...swimsuits make most women crabby, don't ya think? But this little battle of the bulge vs. bikini bliss lead to a revelation. Another notch on my lovin'-myself belt. Have you ever noticed how some people carry themselves with confidence? No matter their physical state of being, they are just freakin' confident. No worries, no fears of what others think. They are just happy!
Of course, this caused me to stop and really think about the differences in me and those other folk. A perfect example of "the other folk" would be Susan Boyle. Right now, most all the world knows of Susan Boyle. For those of you who have been hiding under a rock lately and missed it, she is the break out celebrity with the phenominal voice on Britian's Got Talent.
Not your typical celebrity, Susan is what most would describe as homely. Not a beauty in the traditional sense. But this girl has got it goin' on! When I first watched her audition, I was taken aback by her confidence. She had a swagger. A fierceness within her. An unspoken voice that is stronger than even her amazing singing talent that screams...I LOVE MYSELF! No matter the snickers from the audience, no matter the patronizing glares and comments from the judges, she knew she was special. And oh was she special! That beauty of a soul opened her mouth and out came the voice of an angel!
Chills ran down my spine and I was in awe. As was each and every person who heard her! After she completed her song, to a standing ovation, she waved a thank you and turned to leave the stage. She didn't wait for the judging. And while I'm sure that was just a mistake...a bit of nerves...I found it to be utterly symbolic. She did not need the judges' comments or approval. She KNEW she had done well. She had accomplished her mission of wowing the crowd and she needed nothing else. What an incredible thing to witness!
So how does this tie into my recent woeful swimsuit episode? For all the worrying and fretting over how I look in my swimsuit, why on earth should I really care? Is it really all that important that I need approving glances from others? I am certain Susan Boyle has her demons. We all do. It is part of being human. But she has found that inner peace that, at least to the rest of the world, keeps the demons in their tiny little cage. And all that shows is the beauty of her strength of self. Her ability to focus on her strong points and forget the rest. Today I want to be like Susan Boyle. I want to hold my head high and walk with an air of inner peace. And when the time comes, I want to be able to wear my bikini and be glad of the fact that I have wonderful friends and family with which to share the sunshine. And to heck with the rest of it!
To see a vidoe of Susan's performance, click HERE.