Assume The Position...

Women are notorious for requiring multiple potty breaks when traveling. I would not be an exception to that rule. With all the traveling to and from Georgia you can guess I have scoped out the least germ infested potties in which to go...well, potty. I have even trained my bladder to perform on command at this somewhat sanitary stop. And the best part is that it is at the half way mark requiring only one stop on my 190 mile trek.

Via

This trip my bladder decided to have a mind of its own. About 50 miles prior to the half-way potty station, I had an overwhelming need to pee. I tried talking my bladder into submission, but it wasn't having any of that. And of course, the thought never crossed my mind to stop else where. To be honest, there weren't that many options anyway. So I suffered my way through 50 miles of squirming in my seat, doing everything except holding myself. Well, I may have even done a bit of that, but that will be our secret.

When I pulled into my relief station, I felt exactly that...relief. I tried not to give away the fact that my eyeballs were swimming, but I think my awkward walk/run straight for the ladies' room might have tipped a few people off. As I turned the corner, I practically died on the spot. The john was closed for cleaning!!! What the ....!!! Shouldn't they be doing that after hours? I walked in circles trying to appear to be making a snack selection, hoping like heck the dude in the ladies room would hurry up!

After what seemed like an eternity, he spotted me and spewed forth what I think was an apology but he spoke in what I think was Spanish and I no hablo espanol. He stepped out as I frantically rushed in. As you know, another 100 miles would not be so swell in a soggy seat. He didn't even close the main door, but what did I care. I hurriedly claimed my stall and assumed the position.

Now this is the part of the story that begs the question, "Have any of you ever had the following experience?"

After precariously perching myself over the toilet, I could finally begin to relieve myself. It was such a sudden rush of relief that I might have actually moaned an audible ahhhh! I continued to hover...and hover...and hover. My ahhhhs became ohhhs and eventually uhhhs! No amount of lunges or squats had prepared me for the marathon pee session that seemed to never end!!! I could only guess what the total strangers in the other stalls were thinking. Could possibly have been something along the lines of "That chick sounds like a freaking race horse!" Of course I finally finished, but what had been a walk-with-my-legs-squeezed-together waddle into the store became a hobble-like-I-had-spent-three-days-on-horseback hike back to the car.

So tell me ladies, has this ever happened to anyone else or am I the only one plagued with the inability to fully assume the position? I'm just wonderin'.