Thursday, October 29, 2009

One Day I Will

It is time for a new year...a new beginning. Yes, I know it isn't exactly January 1st, nor is it any monumental day that would typically mark a new year...a birthday, anniversary, etc. But I'm choosing to make today MY new year. To make this my new beginning and create a fresh start.

I've recently written of difficult decisions I've been facing and how there seems to be no good solution to any of them. Heartache, frustration and fear played a roll regardless of which solution I chose. I've wrestled with these decisions for months now. Although in my heart of hearts I knew the answers, I didn't want to go there knowing what it would require of me to push through the outcome. But I've been getting there little by little. During the trying times in my life, I've found that if I forge ahead, even when it feels there is no end in sight, eventually, things start to fall into place. And it usually means hitting rock bottom before I can begin the slow and steady climb back "up".

The past few weeks have marked the beginning of the climb. I feel lighter and more at peace with the decisions I've made and I'm looking ahead with optimism and even a little excitement. Today I heard a song that seems to encompass what I've been feeling. It spoke to me in so many ways. The song is "One Day You Will" by Lady Antebellum. Here are some of the lyrics:

You feel like you’re falling backwards
Like you’re slippin’ through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can’t see it now

But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there’s a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won’t be much longer
You’ll find love, you’ll find peace
And the you you’re meant to be
I know right now that’s not the way you feel
But one day you will

I've eluded to the struggles Keith and I have been facing and it appears there is no solution to our problems. As I stated in my last post we are no longer engaged. Letting go is never easy, even if you know it is the right thing. It was a long, hard road coming to the conclusion that things are not meant to be, but I'm coming to terms with it. Due to this and all the health issues of late, I had been feeling as if I was "slippin' through the cracks"...wondering if the disappointments in my life would ever lead me to a brighter tomorrow. Since my divorce I've also felt like an alien in my own hometown. Family and friends that I had always known were no longer accessible in the same way. Having spent the last 3 years commuting to and from Atlanta didn't help my cause. It's difficult to foster friendships when you are not around to do so.

But lately I have been finding my silver lining to the dark clouds that have been hanging overhead. Attending the wedding of my "ex" nephew a few weeks ago opened the door to reconnecting with "ex" family. As you know, family dynamics can get really complicated during a divorce and we held true to the tradition and did not escape those complications. However, when I went to the wedding I was welcomed with open arms. It felt as if I had somehow come home. The family and friends I had known and loved for 20 years were there waiting for me with a true geniune desire to welcome me home. I have tears rolling down my face as I type this because I never knew how much I missed everyone.

I have long since come to terms with the break up of my marriage, but I don't think I ever resolved the feelings of losing my "other" family. Now...I have them back. Although it will never be the same, I have new hope that brighter days are ahead and I don't have to trudge through the dark times alone any more. And as the song says, I believe I will find love, I'll find peace and the me I'm meant to day I will.

So here's to new brighter days the beautiful silver lining in every dark cloud.

Much love,

P.S. I've started my new blog. Anyone interested in reading please email me for the link. ( Be is raw, honest, and not for everyone. It is nothing more than my journey as a single girl...a narrative of what it's like on this side of the fence.


  1. Lisa, here is to a new beginning! You have the strength and courage to move on and climb up as high at you wish! God Bless you on your journey! I've left an award for you on my blog!
    Kim xXx

  2. Sweet Friend.....change is scary...but it entails growth and I see that growth in you!!!!! I am here to support your journey and know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers.....Love you!!!! :-) I too left you an award!!!

  3. *sigh* this is the mostest beautifulist post ever....*sigh* love love love love love it....and ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yeah...please advise the boss of the new blog....boss needs the info! hehehehehe :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

  4. Hi Lisa, I'm so sad to read of your struggles but things will get easier in time. I know you have probably heard that a million times but it really is the truth. I've been at the bottom myself a few times and waited my whole life for things to come together and now they are just around the corner. You are a super sweet wonderful person, just love who you are inside, the person that all us bloggers have come to love and you'll see, everything will fall into place in time.
    Hugs, Annette ♥

  5. Lisa, I hope you know how much I look up to you and respect you. There are so many women who will settle for less than they deserve just so they don'thave to be alone.
    You are not one of those women and should be proud of that. You are a great wxample to your daughter and other young women.
    Remember that.
    I LOVE Lady A, their CD is the best!
    You need to listen to a new and called, Gloriana, I bet they are right up your alley!
    Hang in there sister

  6. Hang in there Missy Lisa. I know how you feel about losing family and friends as I have been there too.

    Big big hugs my friend.

  7. Hugs Lisa! I give you plenty of hugs...

  8. Lisa, you are a strong and brave woman and I just know that your silver lining is not only out there but glitters more than anything! Keep pushing forward, the best is yet to be! And duh! I want the new blog addy!! LOL

  9. you are such a stong woman Lisa and I admire your candid honesty! Cheers to you and your new begining! Big hugs to you girl!

  10. Wow...I am choked just reading this post...only you could post such raw emotions in such a comprehensive sorry that you have been going through such turmoil, but so glad to hear that you have turned a corner.

    Often change happens for a reason & at some point in the future you will look back & realise why!

    It is so wonderful that you have reconnected with your 'other', hold onto that optimism, enjoy the love that surrounds you & go get 'em!!

    {{Hugs}} xxx

  11. Good for you! Do what you need to do to make yourself happy, everything else falls into place. I stopped living for others a long long time ago!

  12. Lisa I am so sorry that you have been feeling down but I sooooo admire your will to pick yourself up and look toward new beginnings and better days. THEY WILL COME!!! ((((HUGS)))))

  13. Lisa, I'm so impressed by this post. It makes me think about everything that happened in my life lately and in the time of my divorce. Yes, I lost my other family too, they let me down in so many ways and I don't want to see them again, never!!!!
    I wish you lots of strength, love and happiness!!


  14. P.S. there is an award waiting for you on my blog!!! Hopefully I got the link right this time!!!!

  15. You are awesome.

    'Nuff said.


  16. Seems you are on the path to healing, peace, love and joy. You, I believe are one step ahead of the game of life.....You know you will not be sucked up by the hard knocks of life but you choose to tromp on through. You are a strong passionate woman. God has a special man out there for you....I recently heard a sermon on being single....The man mentions to live a full single life...enjoy the toilet seat always staying down...the toothpaste tube pushed up just the way you like it...the ability to eat whatever you want for dinner and if you want to eat out of the tub of ice cream you can without anyone saying why do you do that... No one snores but you and you are asleep and don't know get the whole bed to yourself...spread your wings and fly in all those sweet dreams you will have. Enjoy the life God has given you. Life is tough and full of choices but attitude determines altitude. You are choosing to rise above. Let me know when ya wanna have a girls weekend. I am ready when you are. Hugs sweet friend. Love you!

  17. Just wanted to say I've been thinking about ya! Always wishing you the best...hang in there! & here's to NEW beginnings!!! Have a great weekend, my friend! Not sure if I should read your OTHER blog :o) oh, what the hell! I'll send you an email....

  18. Oh, my sweet friend, i'm so sorry to hear about your engagement being off. You have an amazing and strong spirit, and as hard as it is to start down a new path, I know you'll embrace it with open arms! I love your attitude, and you are a true inspiration! hugs to you!!

  19. Stay strong friend!! That silver lining is getting brighter and brighter! Everything happens for a reason and just remember one thing, God only deals out what HE knows that you can handle, and leaves it up to you as to how to handle it!! I just emailed you too :))

  20. You're dealing with a lot but have managed to come out seeing the silver linings. That is no easy task. Well done Lisa!

  21. Cheers to a new beginning!
    One day you will.
    Cheers to a new year for you!
    One day you will.
    Cheers to a fresh start!
    One day you will.
    Cheers to reconnect with those you loved for so many years!
    One day you will.
    Cheers to starting to see some brightness!
    One day you will.
    Cheers to sharing your story!
    One day you will.
    Cheers to YOU!
    One day you will.

    Sending (((HUGS))) and cheers to you, Lisa!!

  22. Hey Lisa, not sure what more to say other than I really hope and pray that your awesome optimism and outlook on life will help you though this chapter of your life. Thanks for being so honest with us all!

    Love, Moira

  23. Sounds like it has been a tough road but I am glad you are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel! Hugs!

  24. Ooooh Lisa,
    I just wanna give you a big aussie hug!!

    You are an amazing woman!

  25. Hugging you in spirit my sweet friend.
    xxx Peggy

  26. Sending love to you my friend. You are such a strong woman. It takes a strong woman to realize the things you have realized and you will keep going and your days will get brighter! Lots of hugs!!!

  27. {{{hugs}}}} I am sitting here choked up reading your heart-felt words! You are so brave and smart to make such tough choices...most people take the easy way out and live in an unhappy, stagnant relationship. Bottom alone have to be responsible for your happiness...and you are on the right path! We all are here for you, to listen, encourage and brighten your day with friendship!

  28. Lisa, I have been thinking about you lately. I am praying that things continue to look up for you. Sending lots of hugs, my friend.

  29. Hey Sweetie, hang in there. I know what your going thru....been there myself. I was married for 20 years and JOhns family is a part of me and luckily im still a part of them. You are a smart bright lady and whatever challenges you face you will always find your way thru those dark clouds...beacuase your awesome!!! Hugs, char


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